DELTRON 3030!!!! POSITIVE CONTACT!

Shout out to Deltron 3030 and Dan the Automator for making a beer with Dogfishhead, of 75 and 90 and 120 and probably other minute IPA fame.  Positive Contact-Contact-Contact-etc

Yeah I used to listen to their songs, I still listen to "Mastermind" and "Madness" on occasion, that's been my jam forever.  Positive Contact's been up there too, so when I saw the label had it written on there, I was like, "Yo. I gotta see what's up."  So I open the fridge door, and lo and behold,

POSITIVE CONTACT WITH APPLE CIDER AND STUFF LIKE THAT

TASTES LIKE CIDER MIXED WITH HEFEWEIZEN

BUENO

YA

WHOA

WHOA

also halloween and shit but the squirrels ate the pumpkins

RIP pumpkinbro

he died

OH RIGHT

back to the beer

positive contact tastes good but it aint my favorite

it aint my least favorite by a long shot though

im not a cider person doh

my grammar gets better when I drink.

Also, Jubelale.  at some point

BAD WEEKNIGHT

BEER 1: ZYWIEC

How can you go wrong with Poland's number 1 beer?

BY DRINKING IT.

Even the military fellow does not enjoy staring at this bottle.

I saw Zywiec (Zvwiec?) signs all over Brooklyn when I lived there.  And yet.  I never tried it.  Now, I can't say that that was a bad thing.

Here is a haiku

I cannot pronounce

I cannot enjoy either

Pabst?  No.  Sadly worse.

I take a sip and it reminds me of the sad days when I drank Coors from a can.  But forgot about the can for a few hours and came back and took a sip.  I would liken this beer to Red Stripe.  If Red Stripe had less flavor and was flatter.

And so my evening was unfortunate.  How could I let myself continue living for the night without a good beer?

Maybe I should buy a parrot and train it to say things.  Like "DON'T DRINK ZYWIEC!  AWWK"etc

Yeah I'd probably drink this at a barbecue or something.  If it was cold.  and the temperature outside was very hot.

Gah.

BUT I CANNOT LET IT END LIKE THIS.

BEER 2 - Deschutes - Hop in the Dark

Oh Deschutes.  I love most of your beers.  ...though when I went to your taproom in Portland your Doppel Dinkel Bock murdered my soul with bananas and bubblegum...  Ahem.

Apparently this is an American Dark/Black Ale.  I'm hoping for a Lagunitas Nighttime kinda drank right now.  Whatever it is, I have faith in Deschutes.  

It tastes... flat.  Why is it flat.  This is a 3D world.  Wha-

Well, it's still better than Zywiyick.  But this tastes off.  It shouldn't taste off.

Your picture is so good, and yet... this is very subpa-

Shit.  I'm 2 months off the "best by" date.  Dammit.

I'll have to take a raincheck on this one.  Apparently HitD doesn't age well.  Bad night, I guess.  No good beer and I'm set back a few bucks in a depressing way.

argh

Well, on the other hand, I found this the other day -

And apparently it has spaghetti in it.   And is rated highly online!

I'm gonna go wash my mouth out.  And have a slice of pie.  Obama is about as disapproving as I am right now.  Bad luck tonight.  I shall return.

Shout out to the American Rifleman magazine for getting the absolutely most hilarious Obama pictures ever.  He looks so annoyed and evil in this haha

-Jack Moro

Black Diamond Brewing Company's Rampage Imperial IPA

Black Diamond Brewing Company - Rampage Imperial IPA

I went to Black Diamond Diamond Company the other day up in Concord (CA, naturally) and I picked up this Imperial IPA, the ELEPHANT THEMED RAMPAGE.  HOW COOL IS THAT ART?

...NOT AS GOOD AS THE ACTUAL BEER.

Holy shit.

I was surprised right off the bat.  Normally when you get a higher alcohol beer (this is 9.0%), you get a sort of "Man, this is too sweet to drink more than a little at once" or at least "I have to get used to this before I can finish the rest of the bomber".

Not so with this one.  I've tried Pliny the Elder from Russian River, I've tried Drake's Denogginizer, I've tried a bunch of beers.  This one dodges the aforementioned issues; it's really really easy to drink, and if you enjoy IPAs (or stronger Pale Ales, I'd bet), you'll probably like this.  A very welcome surprise.  If I see this in the store (not sure I've seen it anywhere other than in the bottle fridge in Concord but I can hope!), I'll definitely grab another.

I thought about writing some weird shit about this beer but I like it enough that I don't want to mock it.  Now go get one and enjoy it.  Well done, Black Diamond.

Jack Moro

Today was a long day.  So I had to crack open a beer.  I'd ordered a box online, of 4 different beers, 3 bottles of each, and received Bad Water Brewery's Western Lager and Saison, as well as Mendocino's Pilsner and Black IPA.

I've tried the Mendocino Black IPA.  I was not impressed.  It tasted like someone crushed orange peels into a decent IPA.  I've composed a haiku about it.

At First, It Ain't Bad

But Then, The Orange Peels Hit

The Earth Is Destroyed


I know that somewhere out there, there must be people that enjoy it.  And yet, I am clearly not one of these people.

"MAYBE THAT BEER IS TOO SUBTLE FOR YOU!" yells a voice in my head.
"MAYBE I WON'T DRINK THE OTHER TWO BOTTLES I HAVE LEFT!" I reply, confusing innocent bystanders by muttering incoherently.

And now I try Bad Water's "Western Lager".  I am confused at what a Western Lager is.  Is it just a lager brewed in the Western US?  Why is it capitalized?  What am I getting into?

The label reads, 'Designed in Arizona'.  This may be key.  Bad Water Brewing is from Monroe, WI.  This may also be key.  Hm.  Well.  Here goes.

Oh.  It may have been a screw top.  Womp.  It smells... like beer.  maybe I should pour it into a glass or something.  One second.

...

It smells like nearly any pilsner or lager to me. Has... has the subtlety been lost upon my non-discerning nose?  Uh-oh.

Am I supposed to mention foam head?  I think I am.  There's a little.  And it's white.  Does that help?  Cuz it doesn't help me.  Erm.  Moving on, it tastes more like a pilsner than a lager to me.  It has a faint metallic taste, a slight heaviness of "oh hey, you're drinking beer" taste, then dissipates.  I don't want to be a mean person to a non-macro brewery, but this kinda tastes like drinking fortified PBR.  Sorry Bad Water.  Maybe I'm just not a lager Western Lager person.

Well, that's it for tonight, I think.  Two beers on a weekday is probably a bad idea as it is.

Mysterious Catchy Memorable Slogan,

Blog Author

DECLARATION OF INTENT

A blog emerges, probably years and years too late to be of any relevance!  (WE SHALL SEE)

I was inspired by going to the tasty Drake's Brewing...'s First Friday event over in San Leandro, CA last week; 15 dollars gets you a glass, 3 drink tokens (they have something like 15 different beers on draft, from the things you'd normally find like 1500 Pale or Robusto Porter) and if you bring back your glass the next first Friday, drink tokens are something like 3.50, which is pretty damn good, especially for quality drankitizations.  Also 2 food trucks but we planned to eat later.  Whoosh.  I was a bit sad not to see the sobriety-chopping Denogginizer (~10% Imperial IPA that is absolutely tasty) I had enough trouble getting sober enough to drive home  convince my friend that he should probably drive because I was way too bouncy and happy on a Friday night after a long week...

All I know is that I had a Robusto Porter, something called 'Dark Matter', and something with the word 'Hella' in it.  And this glass.  There were a lot of people.  I shall return.


Erm.  So the intent of this blog is that I'll write something occasionally about beer.  Or video games.  Or life.  I might even write poetry or stream-of-consciousness stuff.  Or post pictures!  Or videos!  Hell, I don't know.


Just remember the immortal words of the strange man on the barstool at 2 in the afternoon,

"I need more beer.  Give me three."